Bursting point...

Sometimes I feel like I have this mounting pressure in my chest and if it goes on any longer, I may ACTUALLY physically explode.

Isn't it weird how our bodies have physical reactions to our emotions? Getting hot/flushed when you feel embarrassed....heart racing if something surprises you, knees weak when you get all crushy on someone,  and then sometimes...........CHEST PAIN due to anxiety!! :)

I don't feel particularly stressed about any one thing, really. Sure, I've got a lot on my plate, but I seem to manage alright. Taking time for myself, whilst staying on top of school/training/work....it's all the OTHER stuff that gets me. My laundry, for example, is overflowing out of my closet. I keep throwing clean clothes BACK into the laundry basket instead of actually putting them away......if I close the closet door, you can't see that anything's wrong! :)

OVERFLOW ALERT.

I feel that inside my chest right now. The warning sign is flashing, the threshold is at maximum capacity, the closet door is struggling to close against the mounting laundry pile....I'm actually going to explode. I want to go outside and run....but I'm pretty sure I need a rowboat to leave the house at this point.  Wouldn't it just be so nice...if for a day...you could actually IGNORE all responsibility?....and just do......whatever the hell you want? with no consequence?....and NOT feel guilty about it?! What is up with all these guilty feelings that CONSUME me when I ignore my chores for a day?? My work outs?? ugh.

I want to eat an entire box of crackers....WITH cheese, drink coffee all day....switching to wine around  7pm, eat a hamburger...AND french fries....and then NOT work out.

Being a grown-up is lame. I hate that I think about every calorie I'm consuming when I find myself in front of a platter of fries..........

Stupid media and all their stupid hot skinny girls in stupid bathing suits......

:)

Ok ok....it really is not so bad....to be quite honest. It just feels like everything is kind of in constant transition around here...and I guess I'm looking for a little less busy, and a little more boring. Does life ever settle down??

It probably would if I let it....I'm sure subconsciously I like all this hectic chaos. It's like a game...."If I go to the bank before going to safeway, I'll have taken care of the bills - and then I can stop by Krista's house to see Jack...on my way back from dropping off something to Candace......and THEN....if I run these boxes to goodwill I'll have room in my car to pick up that thing from my mom's...".....and before I know it, I've driven across town like 600 times in a 2 hour span of time. :)

....at least I usually have a good soundtrack.

Speaking of that. My favorite song this week IS......... Sound of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel.


I like these girls A LOT:

I'm sad R+J are leaving. :( 

I need to start an Africa Fund Box (AFD)....donations gladly accepted.

This post is kind of about nothing.

ps......my "w" key is stuck....so I've backspaced about a zillion times during this blog........