Blog Title...

Ever since I've started blogging again, I can't stop thinking of potential titles for posts as I run through my days. They are usually a sad attempt at me being clever. My own little hallmark slogans.

As I'm rapidly approaching my quarter century bash, all the silly "I'm getting too old" titles come into mind. Ah! I found a grey hair (no joke!)....ah! I have joint pain! Ah! My body creaks and cracks for no apparent reason! CRAP! I'm getting OLD! Then I think......really Heather?! Don't live beyond your years! I'm fine. I may sound like something of a wild firecracker when I get out of bed each morning, but I really need to quit sweating the small stuff. So...I throw those titles out the window.

I LOVE love. It is my favorite subject to write about. And food, come to think of it. If you want to talk about either of those things, let's clear out a week...today Jenna and I spent nearly 3 hours running errands, having SO much fun being silly girls getting hungry at the grocery store and having to draw the line at corndogs when it came to erroneous (yeah, I used that word) purchases. LOVED it. As I prepare for my next departure to AZ, Jenna is preparing for houseguests. Our house smells like heaven. She has been cooking and cooking and cooking...and I'm supposed to be doing chores!! What?! You know I can't resist food, Jenna!  I can't pack right now! Let's talk all about what YOU'RE doing. Ginger, and garlic, and coconut milk, oh my!

I meant to go off on some witty titles about love, and got carried away by food. ha! I miss the kitchen....school + work + work + school has kept me away....

If you keep reading....there's a picture reward at the bottom. If you scroll down now.....you're probably not missing much....I have a tendency to ramble.

This week, was, in a nutshell...bittersweet (another potential blog title option....combine that title with a chocolate afterthought and I'll be going for hours). I'm sure the hospital crowd that reads this can relate...we've been SLAMMED. I'm not quite sure what the heck is changing around here, but I feel like the last 6 months, or so, have been some of the busiest we've ever endured in the Good Sam OR. We are still down an AA tech, making my department, specifically, very short staffed. Eating has been sort of a distant daydream lately at work. But it's still rewarding......we're still helping people, and I can't complain about that. AND!...I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with class and CNA stuff, but even then...I'm a few weeks out. I usually am so excited for March, but as I look at what I have looming in my near future...I'm starting to worry. Insert the BITTER portion of that nutshell statement here. :) It kind of all started hitting me this week that although I've been thinking my life is quite hectic as is...it's about to get worse. GAH! As long as I keep reminding myself that this is short lived...I think I'll be alright. :) The sweet part about this week though was the constant encouragement from the people I'm surrounded by. I can't praise my friends and family enough for being so wonderful. Jenna told me tonight that my gift is 'encouragement' and I just think that's silly. If I don't express my gratitude........I'll explode. Yuck. Ha...so really my words of praise are for my benefit? To avoid explosion? Oh dear.

I just want to give an overall thanks to the people I interact with daily.....you really are making my life so perfect.

I leave for AZ again tomorrow. My grandfather is turning 90! Holy moly! He's a spry dude....probably would slap me silly for calling him 'dude', but I don't think he knows much about the blogging world........or the internet for that matter....

It isn't supposed to actually be that outrageously nice there, but I'll take any vitamin D I can get at this point. Spring, where are you!? Pictures from the week, or so.......

Hey, remember when it snowed today!? FUN.

Hung out with Ava, as usual. That's her ketchup spoon there....aka a french fry. So cute.

Candace, Glori, and I at the space neighbors show. It was red themed!

John N. on the left! He's such a badass.....he knows it. Space Neighbors.

Made pizza this week........for my first time ever, by myself, in the oven! This isn't it, but it's a visual. I think Jenna took pics?

And a reminder as to what the oven looks like.....it was so fun! Imagine this though at night time and in the cold! :)

I have the travel bug again.....going through old Italy pictures. One of my favorites of me in a narrow alley. Who wants to pool some $$ and get outta the country?

Maybe I'll go to Africa with Rubes and Lewis....

kidding parents...

or am I?

:)

See ya next time....

song of the week: white blank page, mumford and sons

quote of the week: if opportunity doesn't knock....build a door.

Update.....

The next day............was SO MUCH better!!

I think we should start everyday with dancing.....

If I ruled the world...... :) what a fun place it'd be.

Went to the Space Neighbors show tonight....SO FUN (although was on call.....and am working tomorrow)....if you ever get a chance to catch em - DO IT! They're a blast. I work with the base player and he's a rock star!!

mmmmk...that's all - just wanted to post that my following day WAS, in fact, better.

Thanks Auntie Dea for checking on me.... :) - promise to call you soon!

Remember that book...?

When you were a kid? The one that was called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Yeah.....that was it today. The day where you wake up...and everything is already wrong. You slept in 30 minutes past your alarm, realize you're not in your normal bed and that you actually have morning chores (housesitting at my mom's)...somehow dress, brush teeth, put hair up, feed animals, find shoes, all at faster than the speed of light...only to realize you can't find your keys. You search and search and search...and time keeps going faster and faster..........ugh...it's like you can FEEL the anesthesiologist at work tapping their foot, waiting for you (although...they weren't...it just felt like that). FINALLY you find your keys (in the bathroom?), and YOUR CAR IS ICED OVER....with five minutes to get to work to clock in on time.

Terrible
Horrible
No Good
Very Bad

It seriously went on like that all day. I won't get into many details...but work was a crazy (rather depressing) blur. Starting...literally right as I walk in the door and that dreaded overhead voice that likes announcing things like "full traumas" or "code 99" or "massive transfusion"...etc....starts bringing all the good news. yuck. I have to stay late due to being so short on staff, cutting into my homework time...scramble to do school work (we had presentations tonight)...do evening chores....get the house clean for my parents re-arrival....and....HA! Success!! Something went right!! I leave at 5:25 pm to head to class (at 6)...and I'm running ahead of schedule. SO RELIEVED.

I make it to hwy 20 (coming from N Corvallis) to head to LBCC...and realize...'hmm...my binder isn't in my purse.' No bother, it must be in the back seat....NOT THERE EITHER. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I forgot my homework on the kitchen table. Had to turn around and go all the way back, as my professor doesn't accept late work...AND all my presentation material was in the binder.

I showed up 20 minutes late because of that...

Terrible......HORRIBLE....NO GOOD.....SO MAD/SAD AT EVERYTHING.....very bad day.

Ugh. It's a little after 8pm and I'm going to bed.

Sorry for the grumpy post....sometimes you just have to vent. Tomorrow has to be better right?? I'm in my own bed, at least. That's a step in the right direction...

When a two year old gets your camera.....

So....I have a couple of friends that I hang out with on a pretty regular basis. My room mates, for example, and that whole community...my hospital group. My family....etc...you get the idea. Some of my friends, however....are small. Quite small. Like Ava.

Ava and I see each other one to two times per week, at least. We usually meet at block 15 or magenta (she's a very sophisticated small person...unfortunately she mispronounces their 'pho' soup as 'foot' soup, which has now just turned into a funny joke), and on occasion we'll take a nice little hike or walk somewhere. Ava is two (and a half!), and VERY smart (duh). Nearly every time I see this little girl, there's a perfect sequence of events that always happen:

Step one: The greeting. "Hi Ava!!!" I always say, very excitedly! Rather than "Hi Heather!" right back, I get a "DID YOU SEE MY DRESS?!?!?!" instead...and....although it could be a dress I've seen a zillion times, it still (of course) is the most beautiful thing EVER. And we goggle at it's beauty. Of course.
Step two: The twirl. "do you wanna watch me twirl!?" Of course I do. A dress is not complete without a proper twirl. So....she twirls and twirls and twirls...making ME dizzy watching, and her dizzy with all the moving...and twirling. She gives a strong curtsy, and we move on to the next step.....
Step three: MY PURSE.
After talking about dresses, and shoes, and who can twirl better...yenno...girl stuff....Ava ALWAYS goes through my purse. The main reason for this, is probably quite obvious...I have a ginormous (it's a word) purse...and, to be honest, it keeps her occupied for quite awhile, allowing 'grown ups' (am I a grown up....really?? ugh....when did that happen??) to talk, and the small person to be temporarily quiet while sifting through all my 'treasures.' Who knew highlighters and chapstick could be so fun! Note to self: remove inhaler / corkscrew from purse.....(it never happens)....

So anyhow.....today I went through my camera (which happens to reside in my purse).

I know, of course, that she sometimes steals it and pushes buttons...but I had no idea the extent of the 'damage!'

I thought I'd share some of the pictures. She's not too bad....

Ava likes to take out all the loose change and count it....and apparently photo it. 

Don't mind her fingers...

Our beers. Very appropriate. Oh and a deoderant container...she likes that too. Smells nice!

An attempt to take a picture of the waitress, Geri, Jerry, Jeri (no idea how to spell her name). 

Good one.

An attempt at me. Dang Ava! Coulda been cute!

An attempt at sugar packets?

Ava! look at the camera! (Camera STOLEN! Ha!)

Not sure if she's trying to bust dad for texting at the table (nice face, Chris), or trying to get a pic of the guy behind him?

There she goes! into the purse....

Ava LOVES ketchup.....it's her favorite food.

Nice ones of Jimmy.....

 Caught you!

I swear I didn't take this....

ALMOST got a smile from caleb!

Glamour shot. Duh!

Annnnnnyhow...I thought the pictures were pretty funny. Thanks Chris/Clover for having such a cute lady....and thanks, Ava, for being such a fun small friend. Maybe someday you'll read my blog... :)

In other news (yeah...I might as well keep writing)......I went to the SPA yesterday.

As I've probably mentioned about a million times...my baby sister has FINALLY moved on from being a minor.......making her a major?....hmm....that I'll have to look into, but bottom line is: she is 21! woo! She crossed over to adulthood (ha) at the beginning of January, but my sisters and I, and stepmom (which I hate that word...it's sooooo formal...can't we just call her a 2nd mom and be done with it), karen, finally got around to celebrating it YESTERDAY. Followed by a SCRUMPTIOUS dinner put on by 'the boys'....aka dad and jimmy.

Ze ladies, however, went here.

Go.

Don't even think twice about it. Just...promise me that you'll do it.

We started our blissful day with a champagne lunch. Perfect. 

It was promptly followed by a relaxing foot soak, and then foot massage....which, normally I'm super freaked out by people touching my feet...but whatever that woman did...was heaven. I want that every day. After coming out of my foot-rub induced coma, I was swept away by a lovely lady for an hour long body massage. Pure joy. I finished out the day with a 'daydream' facial and some time in the sauna.

I needed that. 

You don't realize how stressed out you can become until you take a day off sometimes. With school + this time consuming CNA thing (really the material is super simple...but it takes FOREVER to just get to the frickin quizes! ugh!), + Edwards training + oh yeah...working!!!...I hit burnout on Friday. Succumbed to exhaustion and just died....or so I thought. Took a break from life, and had the spa day to look forward to Saturday. It was perfect timing.

It was one of those things though....while sitting on that squashy couch and having my FEET rubbed, of all things...I laid my head back, closed my eyes... and couldn't help thinking "how in the world do I EVER feel like I have the right to complain about anything?!" My life...is fine. Privileged even. I just need to be grateful. I am grateful.

Grateful for the day at the spa. Grateful for my little friend, Ava. Grateful to be taking it day by day. The woman that gave me my facial (coincidentally, also named Heather) was so much fun to talk to...she was so wise! "We are our own jail-keepers...only we have the power to set ourselves free." Oh heather...you're so smart. I need to remember to unwind every now and then, or else I'll burnout. Unwinding is okay!! sheesh.

K.....that's all I think.

song of the week: home, edward sharp and the magnetic zeroes. 

reminds me of late night dance parties..... 

Drive me crazy...

Remeber when you were small and a trip from say Corvallis to Portland seemed like a lifetime?? Like it was some kind of cruel punishment your parents would dole out to you, only you had no clue as to what for. "It's going to take OVER and HOUR?! I can't even count that high! Noooooooo!" If a car ride was over thirty minutes long, it was usually met with feet stomping, shoes flying, outright protests from me. No thank you, I'll pass. In my defense, I DID get super car sick back in the day...something I, thankfully, grew out of.

I remember my grandfather used to say how much he liked driving. He'd drive across the country to New York every year to visit family and friends.........I thought he was insane. "You drive WHERE?! New york is on the other side of the WORLD! You are CRAZY."

Now I don't plan on hopping in my car tomorrow and roadtripping across the USofA...BUT...times have changed, I've noticed. I really, actually, love driving. It helps clear my head. I do so much thinking when I have to take a trip somewhere. My car is like my own little sanctuary where I get to do / think / sing / say whatever in the heck I want and not one single person will see or hear me (unless, of course, I'm rocking out to a particularly wonderful song...in which case, it's your own fault for watching me). My class that I'm in right now is in Albany...and I'm finding myself (should I be admitting this?) enjoying the daily drive. It's nearly 40 minutes round trip....sometimes longer. 40 minutes of just solitude. 40 minutes where my life is kinda slow and peaceful....

It probably says something about me that I have to find relaxation on a daily commute. But I do. And...I really love it.  Most of the time I turn off the music and just.......think.

What in the world could I possibly have to ponder over for 40 minutes every day you ask?! ha. everything. nothing. life. My brain goes a zillion miles an hour....even while I'm sleeping (seriously, ask me about my dreams sometime and you won't be disappointed). It is always thinking...always full of questions. It's like I never grew out of that "why!?" phase that toddlers go through, but instead of being obnoxious about it and actually voicing my questions outloud...I internalize them...journal them...and contemplate them on car trips. :)

I ask why A LOT. Why do things happen the way that they do?

I think about other people a lot, as well. My friends....family. The people that I admire so much. The people who inspire me. I feel so grateful to know, and be close with, such a wide range of people.  It helps me learn and realize who it is that I actually want to be....

I think about the people that have made such huge impacts on me that I may never again talk to. How does that happen? I met this patient this past week, who was honestly one of the nicest men I've ever met. When we bring patients down from the floors to have surgery, they are first brought into whats called the holding room, or anesthesia work room. The idea is that they can be interviewed there by their nurse / anesthesiologist, and then be whisked away to dreamland in their assigned OR. The process, ideally, should really only take around 15 minutes from the time they're wheeled in, to the time they head to their actual room. Naturally, we don't always like doing things the idealistic way, so Mr. NiceGuy (if you will) ended up in our holding area for quite a long time....and I got 'stuck' babysitting (which, believe me, can sometimes be a real chore). This guy though.......as reluctant as I sometimes am to talk to people in the dreaded holding room, he had me captivated from the moment I introduced myself. He told me stories about his world travels....about meeting the love of his life....about the daughter they adopted, and about her life as an adult...the people he'd met, the house that he lived in, etc. By the end of our conversation I was teary eyed and holding both his hands. "Go for your dreams," he said.

I'll likely never see him again (not because of a bad surgery...I just mean that he's probably gone home, hopefully to never enter our doors again).

Isn't that so weird though?? This man....who (this is terrible to admit), I'm not even sure I can remember his full name....this man made SUCH an impact on me...only to be in my life for ONE day.

I hope I can be like that to someone someday. That man was inspiring.

I think about things like that a lot in my car.....Mr. NiceGuy. :)

PICTURES

This was waaaaay back in the day. My grandfather that liked driving. Me in a fancy dress. Clearly I was ready for a birthday.

Driving.....

AND JUST FOR FUN!!!!! :)

I made a headband...it's for my sista. She doesn't know it yet, so I hope she doesn't read this...but if you do - Kelly this is for you! Love you! See ya tomorrow!

And my tiny friend, Kate with her brother (the dog, of course), Jack. We all went to the beach this weekend. By the time we took her back to the car, her front pocket was FILLED with rocks and seashells. Very smart, miss kate.

That's all. Thanks for letting me journal...it's more fun to type it out sometimes....

Wherever you go, go with all your heart...

Song of the week: White Flag, Dido